by Stephanie Yax, RMHCI
Life is filled with transitions, and one of the most deeply personal shifts is the experience of leaving a church. Whether it’s due to spiritual burnout, relational conflict, or evolving beliefs, transitioning from one faith community to another can evoke a complex mix of emotions—uncertainty, grief, isolation, and even relief. This season of transition can be likened to a “wilderness” experience, a term rich with biblical imagery, where the familiar is stripped away, leaving you exposed to your inner doubts and longings. However, it is also in this wilderness, where old structures fade, that profound personal and spiritual growth can emerge.
Embracing Authenticity and Vulnerability
In the midst of this wilderness season, authenticity becomes essential. You are invited to be honest with yourself about your doubts, fears, and struggles, without rushing to resolve them. Much like the biblical figures who wandered in the wilderness, this space encourages you to confront where you are spiritually, and to do so without judgment. Lean into the discomfort, allowing vulnerability to guide your journey.
Practical Examples:
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts, doubts, and feelings to help process your experience privately.
- Meditation and Prayer: Engage in quiet reflection, creating a space where you can be honest with yourself and process your thoughts and feelings.
- Selective Sharing: Share your journey only with trusted individuals or small groups where vulnerability is valued. Protect your emotional well-being by setting boundaries around how much you disclose.
Prioritizing Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
As you navigate this season of uncertainty, self-care becomes crucial. Managing your energy and recognizing when to let go of what no longer serves you are key to avoiding burnout. Don’t force yourself to conform to past expectations—this is a time to rest and recalibrate. Allowing yourself periods of Sabbath, reflection, and intentional rest can rejuvenate you, fostering a deeper connection to your spiritual journey.
Practical Examples:
- Set Clear Boundaries: Create distance from people or activities that drain you, and kindly but firmly communicate your needs.
- Create a Rest Routine: Dedicate regular time to disconnecting from external pressures and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace.
- Mindful Scheduling: Avoid overcommitting yourself to social or religious obligations. Be intentional about how you use your time, prioritizing activities that align with your current spiritual needs.
Finding Community and Connection in the Wilderness
Though leaving a faith community can feel isolating, maintaining or building connections with others is essential. Seek out spaces where you feel seen and supported, whether through old friendships or new relationships. Finding a neutral party, like a counselor or spiritual director, can help you process your emotions and provide clarity. Viewing others as manifestations of the Divine, as Barbara Brown Taylor suggests, can deepen your relationships and spiritual growth during this time.
Practical Examples:
- Join a Support Group: Find a community, whether spiritual or interest-based, where you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive environment.
- Reconnect with Old Friends: Maintain important relationships by reaching out to friends who have been supportive in the past.
- Explore New Communities: Visit new churches or spiritual spaces without pressure to commit. Allow yourself time to find a place where you feel understood and welcomed.
Grounding Yourself in Spiritual Practices
In this wilderness season, grounding yourself in spiritual disciplines that resonate with where you are now can help you stay connected to your faith. Creative expression, whether through writing, music, or art, can be a powerful outlet for processing emotions. Acts of service can also provide purpose and meaning as you navigate this transition.
Practical Examples:
- Daily Reflection: Set aside time each day to read scripture, reflect on spiritual texts, or listen to inspirational podcasts.
- Creative Outlets: Use creative activities like journaling, painting, or playing an instrument to express your spiritual journey.
- Volunteer Work: Acts of service, such as supporting a cause or helping in your local community, can ground you in purpose and spiritual fulfillment.
Embracing the Wilderness for Spiritual Growth
Though the wilderness season is uncomfortable, it is also an opportunity for profound transformation. By embracing uncertainty, you create space for deeper self-awareness and spiritual clarity. This is not a time to rush toward the next faith community but rather to allow yourself to explore and question what you truly believe. Just as the wilderness in biblical stories was a place of both trial and revelation, your wilderness season can be a time of personal and spiritual insight.
Practical Examples:
- Reflect on Past Transitions: Consider other times of change in your life and what you learned. Let these insights guide your current season.
- Accept Uncertainty: Embrace the discomfort of not having all the answers, knowing that faith is a journey.
- Use Scripture as a Guide: Read biblical stories about wilderness experiences and reflect on how they can inspire your own spiritual growth.
Preparing for the Next Chapter
As you move through this wilderness season, take time to reflect on what you’ve learned. What aspects of your past spiritual experiences do you want to carry forward, and what will you leave behind? Gaining clarity on your values and needs will help you discern what kind of faith community or spiritual practice will support you in the future.
Practical Examples:
- List Your Values: Identify what matters most to you in a faith community, whether it’s inclusivity, theological depth, or social justice.
- Reassess Your Involvement: Decide whether you want to take on a more active role in your next spiritual community or prefer a quieter season of reflection.
- Look for Alignment: As you explore new communities, consider how their values align with your own spiritual needs.
In this wilderness, you’re invited to practice patience, embrace vulnerability, and grow spiritually in unexpected ways. By remaining open to the opportunities for transformation, you can navigate the passage from one faith community to another with grace and intention, finding a deeper sense of connection with yourself and the divine.
References
Sarah Bessey, Field Notes for the Wilderness
Barbara Brown Taylor, Leaving Church
Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World
Emily P. Freeman, How to Walk Into a Room