By Melissa Carlson, MSW, LCSW

I’m going to start this post with a few questions for reflection:

What would be different if you were unflappable?

Is there anything you could do that you can’t do now?

Would your relationships improve?

Could you still respond well to the challenging aspects of life if you were unflappable?

Is it ever a good idea to be flappable?

There could be longer answers to each question, but today’s blog post is for the “short and sweet” answers, one by one.

What would be different. . .

Since being unflappable is generally a peaceful position in life, one difference you could expect to experience is more peace.

Are there things you could do. . .

If you were unflappable you could often avoid extra stress, becoming more efficient (and healthier) along the way, so it’s likely you could accomplish more, more effectively.

Would your relationships improve?

                  Probably. More about that, below.

Could you still respond. . .

Yes, you can still respond to challenging situations but in a more peaceful, efficient way. That alone enhances most relationships. If the relationship is already contentious it will improve if you’re less reactive, and your stress level will go down. For lasting change, you might need to focus on strengthening additional areas of communication, like keeping good boundaries, being open and honest, safety, clarity, and listening. When you make those changes, the person you find yourself in contention with is likely to respond differently, also.

Is it ever a good idea to be flappable?

Every healthy person has reactions to what goes on around them, and not all of those reactions can or should be held back. Cultivating the attitude of “unflappable-ness” is a good way to handle most situations.

There are easy to learn tools available for deciding where you typically fall on a flappable-unflappable (reactive-less reactive) continuum. If changing your place on that continuum seems like a good idea, contact me or one of my colleagues at Samaritan Counseling Services (941-926-2959) to learn and practice communication and relationship skills. Mention the blog post on being Unflappable.